Does he really mean it?
About 20 mins ago, while I was watching TV and Anirudh was lying next to me, he said "Mumma, hum bhi ek chhota sa Aryan le kar aayenge." For a moment I froze as I was not sure if I had heard it right. So to confirm I asked him "Aapko Aryan chahiye?" (Aryan is the name of his younger cousin) and he nodded his head and added "Par Aryan to bada hai na! Hum chhota as baby Aryan layenge." He tried to show with his hands how small a baby he wants. So it was clear that he wanted a baby at home. And since Aryan is the youngest baby he has seen, he was using Aryan as a reference.
Then he went ahead to ask me "Hum usko Aryan bolenge?" and I said "Aapko jo naam achha lage woh bol lena". This was not the end and he prodded me further "Rishit achha hai na?" and I nodded saying "Yes" then I asked him "Radhika kaisa hai?" to which he very sweetly replied "Woh bhi achha hai!" and after that he quietly lied down next to me and just snuggled.
For him it was probably over and done with but I kept pondering as to what triggered this question and these series of thoughts in his mind suddenly. And I have no answer. Does this mean he wants a younger sibling? Is this a temporary desire which might turn sour once he finds our love divided? Should we really think about a second child?
Why I think this is a temporary desire is because he never lets me cuddle up a small baby. He gets so insecure however much I try to involve him and explain him. Even if I'm talking to a baby in somebody's else's arms, he tells me "Nahi aap meri Mumma ho!" and if I take the baby in my lap, he immediately asks me to give the baby back.
Ohh boy! I am in such a dilemma. I have talked, written and discussed about this dilemma before also and I still don't have an answer.
Its not that I don't yearn for another cuddly puddly baby but with the current circumstances I don't think I will be able to have a professional career with another child to take care of. During weekdays I leave home by 8 AM and reach home little before 7 PM. This leaves me jut about 3 -4 hours in a day to spend time with Anirudh and to do various house chores as well. And thats why I feel I will not be doing justice by brining another child in this world but not being able to devote time and attention to them both.
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Hutch
