I hate the brush-your-teeth times!

Yes I hate them! And I'm referring to the brush-your-teeth times for Betu and not mine :D

Its been so long since we started the daily routine of brushing his teeth but every single day he cries barring the very very rare days when he doesn't. Its such a task to make him stand on the moodha which is used to make him stand at an appropriate height to make it easy for me to brush his teeth. And invariably he gets a big big scolding and once in a while a slap from me when I'm trying to brush his teeth.

And this is exactly why I hate this brush-your-teeth times. Simply hate them. I hate that he cries so much. I hate that I loose my temper. I hate that I have to slap him to make him stand an let me brush his teeth!

I really don't know why he hates it. I've tried everything from different types of brushes with different kind of characters to different kid toothpastes. But *sigh* its just not working.

If you remember more than a month and half ago, I had done a post on his teeth brushing issues and how he wants me to sign a song. Now even the singing the song makes no difference.

But that reminds me yesterday when we were done with the brush your teeth song, he wanted me to sing the 'nahai-nahai' song. And when I told him there's no song for it he himself started singing, "When you get up in the morning, nahai nahai nahai..." and I couldn't help looking at him and smiling!

Sometimes it seems its just become a habit for him to cry when its teeth brushing time. Ohh boy! What do I do? Can I console myself that its a phase and will pass away? Any other parent facing this issue?

Tell me its a phase and will pass soon

Crying the moment his demand is not given into, throwing tantrums when he is scolded for something wrong, hitting at us or just anyone when he feels upset, not wanting to share his toys with anyone, wanting whatever the other child has! Ohh boy I really don't know how to handle all this.

Me and hubby just try and pacify ourselves that his is just a phase and he would be out of it soon. But I really wonder if it really is. I've seen this drastic change in him in the past 1 month or so.

Throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat has become his second nature now. And when the tantrum mode is on sometimes he will cry, sometimes he will hit anyone who comes to talk to him or pacify him or he will start throwing things around. We usually try and ignore him and tell him that he's not behaving good so none of us are going to talk to him. Sometimes I've even given him punishments of "go stand in the corner" or that he won't get the goodies that we have. And at times we give him a slap too (sometimes on the cheek and sometimes on the back) and he realises we are really angry. Then he will come and snuggle with us still crying and will say sorry and "Main dubara nahi karunga. Aap gussa mat karo" (I will not do it again. Please don't get angry at me). But sooner than later all is forgotten and he's back to square one in his behaviour. I really don't know how to handle this. Any ideas?

And the recent habit which he has started is whenever we are going out, be it for dinner or some basic house needs shopping he would want us to buy him something. I know that partly we are responsible for that. And we are trying hard to get him off this habit by not giving in to him. We succeeded last night when we were passing by India Gate and he wanted the light-ball which lights up when you swing it using the elastic band attached. But we managed that by telling him things such as the seller has gone to bed or to have dinner. And that we will come again etc etc

But I really wonder if this is the right way. We did try to tell him that we buy him things so often and we will not buy every time we step out of the house. But that didn't work and probably won't. I feel he needs to be a little more older to understand that. And the latest fad is whatever advertisement of a DVD or a toy he will see on TV he will say"Mumma/Papa, Mere liye woh le kar aana. OK?" (Buy that for me) while pointing at the item being advertised. I just look at him and say nothing and he assumes we will and gets busy with other things.

Another new behaviour he has started to show is whenever he meets people, he will hide behind us and not say hello. Which is just the opposite of how he used to be. When we go for the parent teacher meetings at his school with him, he will cling to us for his life. He will not even play with his friends or say a single word to his teachers or his classmates or to the nannies. And his teachers and the principal all say that when we are not around he's such a talkative, bossy little guy and so freely playing around and doing things. They also wonder why he behaves like this when we are around. *Sigh* ..we wonder too!

"I can't hear you" mode

This is the mode that Anirudh has been in since the past month. Or is it "I don't want to listen to you" mode? Whatever it may be but it irritates the hell out of me and hubby. I guess more for me coz I'm the one who deals with him most of the time.

You keep telling him something and repeat it over and over again and he will just turn a deaf ear to you. And when you yell at him, the tears will start rolling and the most pleading and emotional "sorry mumma" is voiced. Trust me it takes lot of will to not melt down on hearing him saying such "sorry".

I know its a trick these kids play on us. The emotional fool trick. And we always almost fall for it.

He has been demanding us to buy him a new toy almost every other day. And out come major tantrums if we say "no" or say "We just bought you a toy on so and so day". We have started ignoring him and sometimes it works and he quietens down and sometimes it goes on for hours and at times he gets a whack from me.

Someone please tell me its a phase!!

Wild love and play!

Anirudh has recently started to show his love and affection in the wildest possible way! Really really WILD way. He will press my cheeks, pull them, pinch me, bite me, jump over me and do just about anything. And it hurts, If you remember my earlier post on how he pulls my cheeks and say "Mumma Cheekoo". I then used to think that was quite wild enough. But what I didn't know was that he had much more wilder things in store for me. The only funny part when he does all this to me is when he keeps saying in between "Aur Mittal!"(And Mittal!) (our surname).

And its not just about showing love in this wild manner but while playing also he behaves so wildly. He would climb over my tummy, jump on it *ouch*..it hurts really bad then and so many times land on my tummy on his knees. He wants to box and today he boxed me right on my lips and GOD! That hurt so much. For about 10 mins they were quite swollen. I wanted to whack him right there and then but I just held on and told him with a frown on my face that it hurts Mumma. And when he knows he has hurt the other person, he behaves in such a funny way. He gets so defiant and will start shouting "No" every few seconds till the time I keep looking at him with a glare. And then he himself will way "No talking to you!" (trying to copy my sentence - I'm not talking to you!)

But today there was a bit of a change soon after he said this sentence after punching me on my face. He came to me and asked me in such a sad voice "Mumma, aap mere se baat nahi karoge?" (Mumma, you won't talk to me?). This is when I hadn't said anything to him besides that his punch hurt me. So I told him again "You hurt Mumma! Mumma ko bhi dardee hoti hai"(Mumma also feels the pain). So with an even sadder face he goes "Nahi, Mumma baat karegi!" (No, Mumma will talk to me) and he came over, hugged me and clung to me like a little monkey! And then he kissed me on that part of the lip where he had punched me and clung to me again.

Me being a typical Mom, all anger vanished into thin air and I also kissed him back.

But all things apart, is this wild thing a phase too? I know I try to restrict his cartoon watching where there is fighting and lot of action. But I do let him watch Tom & Jerry and Popeye quite a bit. Do you think I should restrict it too? Because there's lot of whacking and hitting in Tom & Jerry and in Popeye where lot of fights between Popeye and Brutus are shown.
But then its only because of Popeye that he started to have spinach :P because spinach makes him a strong boy just like Popeye!

*Sigh*...karoon to kya karoon?

Who wants to be a 'good' boy?

Definitely not him.Yes, I'm talking about Betu here. He is in a very difficult stage right now. And I would definitely call it "early teens" . The defiance. The anger. "I just don't want to listen to you" phase. Bad behavior. Not talking to other/elders properly.

Yes..that's Betu. I'm surprised too. He wasn't like that 2 months ago.

Yesterday he told me in very clear words that he doesn't want to be a good boy. He wants to do all the bad things and that I can go ahead and punish him. In fact he wanted me to punish him.When I asked him why should I punish him he said because he has done a bad thing. On further asking if he thinks doing bad thing is right or wrong, he replied, its right thing. So when I reasoned with him that if he thinks its the right thing to do then why should I punish him. He responded that because he thinks its right but I think its wrong, that's why I should punish him.

I just didn't know what to say or do. I just moved away from him.

I've no clue what is leading to all this behavior change. One reason that I can think of is me not being able to spend enough time with him. Office has been too hectic and he is demanding attention by doing things which make me angry.

Betu, I just want to tell you that Mumma loves you and will do the best to spend more and more time with you. And that I don't want you to be a good boy all the time too. Just be yourself and be happy. I know you are not not happy too when you are upset and angry.

You are my jaan!

Testing my patience

Lately Anirudh has been testing our patience every single day! And when I say lately I mean 2-3 weeks. Its not just me, its hubby who also has the same story to tell. We just do not know what has come over him or what has changed and why is he behaving like this!

Morning start with tantrum and wailing and crying and however hard I try to reason with him, it just does not work! And eventually I end up slapping him which results in both of us, betu an me, getting upset as to why I slapped him. I know I need to be more patient but when this same pattern is being repeated day after day, it just gets to me.

And when you pick him up from the daycare, the same thing repeats. Tantrums and wailing and crying ! One day it will be a demand for a toy, another day for a DVD or for not wanting to go home! And on the way back home, after picking him from his daycare, almost every alternate day I stop at the local grocer to buy milk. And that just gives him an opportunity to demand for those cheese balls or his chocolate biscuits! The moment you say no to him, he will start his nautanki right in the shop and won't stop till you buy him what he is demanding. There are days when I just don't listen to him and he will continue crying and hitting me for hours!

Sigh...so many times I've tried to distract him or tell him why I'm not buying but it JUST DOESN'T WORK!! I'm literally pulling my hair at such occasions!

Every evening when he goes to bed he agrees that he won't repeat this behavior again but then tomorrow is another day! All promises are forgotten and a fresh batch of tantrum start off!

I just hope and pray that this is also a phase and that I figure out soon how to handle him at times like these!