Friday, July 11, 2008

Testing my patience

Lately Anirudh has been testing our patience every single day! And when I say lately I mean 2-3 weeks. Its not just me, its hubby who also has the same story to tell. We just do not know what has come over him or what has changed and why is he behaving like this!

Morning start with tantrum and wailing and crying and however hard I try to reason with him, it just does not work! And eventually I end up slapping him which results in both of us, betu an me, getting upset as to why I slapped him. I know I need to be more patient but when this same pattern is being repeated day after day, it just gets to me.

And when you pick him up from the daycare, the same thing repeats. Tantrums and wailing and crying ! One day it will be a demand for a toy, another day for a DVD or for not wanting to go home! And on the way back home, after picking him from his daycare, almost every alternate day I stop at the local grocer to buy milk. And that just gives him an opportunity to demand for those cheese balls or his chocolate biscuits! The moment you say no to him, he will start his nautanki right in the shop and won't stop till you buy him what he is demanding. There are days when I just don't listen to him and he will continue crying and hitting me for hours! many times I've tried to distract him or tell him why I'm not buying but it JUST DOESN'T WORK!! I'm literally pulling my hair at such occasions!

Every evening when he goes to bed he agrees that he won't repeat this behavior again but then tomorrow is another day! All promises are forgotten and a fresh batch of tantrum start off!

I just hope and pray that this is also a phase and that I figure out soon how to handle him at times like these!


PG said...

This is surely a phase, but that still does not solve your problem which you have now. Actually, you have the answer to it . The only thing which i could tell you is the same old thing: Keep trying. Don't give in; Be strong - he can cry and demand -its Ok, but ina decent way and he has to learn (give him time to learn) that he cannot get everything he wants. Tell him that you are getting upset, if he does not stop. IGNORE his bad behaviour as much as possible, do not punish him for that. Just don't give in. It is his age. I have seen mothers with children his age and there isn't much you can do about it, except not to feel bad yourself. There is nothing wrong in his behaviour. It shows that he is growing and learning. He needs to learn his limits and he is testing you and as they often say he wants to feel these (invisible)limits.
I know all this does not help really. But then yo have to take time in such situartions. How long do you think he will do it. Time it next time. Eye him carefully and objectively, instead. Try it. It will help. I'm myself trying it out when risha throws his tantrums, even if they are only at home and not outside.
Believe me, I can imagine how you feel. We have too common genes for me not to be able to! :)
Drink a cup of coffee while he is throwing his tantrum. You get my point.
I dread these times, as I know they will be coming for me too.

Priyanka said...

Here is something I read online:

I hope this helps.

Mira's mom said...

Hi, I am probably a bit inexperienced to offer any advice on this since Mira is a bit too small and think tantrums are yet to arrive. But, I do think that it is a phase though which will hopefully soon go away - keep the reasoning going on and just don't give up too soon!

brocasarea said...

may be thats normal among kids....
my nephew does like tht!...[even i used to do the same thing at that age]

~nm said...

Priyanka : That was a very good article! Thanks for sharing!

Mama - Mia said...

big hugs to you NM!

is something bothering him at daycare or home?

agree with what PG says! seems like sensible advice! easier said than done, but nothing ventured, nothing gained either!

all the best! you are a super mom and am sure you will do just the right thing!



Swati said...

Well what can I say ...except hope for the best

Preethi said...

maybe just a phase he will grow out of with some patience and support.
Check to see if something/ someone is bothering him at the daycare
Also is he sleeping well? Cheeky can be quite a lot of trouble when he hasn't had a good night's sleep!!

DotThoughts said...

oh no! poor Ani and poor you. its certainly dealing with this day in and day out. Is he getting enough sleep? Try asking him what is wrong with him.. he might just tell you. Have there been any changesa t school? Try asking his teacer if he is same in school. that might give you a clue what's wrong.